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21.
Somehow I had arrived at Alan's apartment without an accident. I had driven in a daze. I wanted to surprise him, so I waited impatiently for another tenant to drive in. At last one arrived and I was able to follow him into the underground garage. As I rode up in the elevator, I felt all the doubts that had bedeviled the days and nights since I had met Alan falling away.
Stepping out into his foyer, I remembered the embarrassment I had felt at having been made to undress here such a short time before. I felt like laughing. I calmly unbelted my raincoat, folded it neatly and laid it on the carpet. I set my flats side by side on top of the coat. Pulling the end of my leash from between my legs, I placed it in my mouth.
I dropped to my knees before Alan's door. Noticing my wristwatch, I took it off. I wanted to present myself to him naked, except for his jewelry. I rang his bell and knelt there with my lead between my teeth. I would always remember that 4 o'clock had been the hour of my deliverance.
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