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It takes a great deal of time to plot the downfall of one's enemies, especially as where my father is concerned, every single thing has to be subordinated to wenching.
Sometimes he will manage from luncheon to dinner without exercising his prong but such occasions are exceptional to the rule, even when hunting he will station some serving wench or another in a convenient barn in case his need should arise and I fear now I have found Camilla my own sweet angel the family curse has indeed afflicted me, not that I find it a curse, more a blessing.
So it was that after a full month of Camilla and I living in sin as lord and upstairs maid so my mother appeared post haste from Brighton, where she had domiciled herself safe from fathers unrelenting pronging, post haste I say, well scant haste more likely, she brought a carriage and behind came a cart of gowns and such finery of all sorts as she considered of the fashion.
All was consternation as she swept into Gatesby Hall as if she owned the place, indeed as father's lawful wedded wife, 'Awful wedded,' as he had it, she was indeed Countess and entitled to such consideration, "Edward" she bellowed, and I thought she sought father so I kept discreetly in the background.
"Edward, where is Edward?" she demanded of Camilla who was abroad upstairs.
"I know not," she said truthfully as she knew me as 'John'.
"My Lady!" my mother insisted, "And you're a pretty thing, fresh from my husband's prong I'll wager, I'm right am I not?" she guessed from Camilla's servant's smock, although by now she wore only finely tailored smocks sewn from fine cloth.
"No indeed not Madam."
"Liar!" countered my mother as she was no fool, "You have the look of one recently sated and the gait of one, his seed oozes from you even as we speak does it not?"
"No, I have not," Camilla wailed.
"Then show me!" my mother ordered, "Raise your smock," Camilla remained shocked and immobile, "Oh very well, insolent girl," she said and reached out and pulled up sweet Camilla's smock until all was displayed.
"See, the bruising, the leaking seed, tis the Hunstanton curse," Mother said, "I should know I rode that prong times enough, now you have a rest girl, a glass of milk perhaps, some porridge and have someone else do your menials," Mother said kindly, "For if it were not for kindly maid such as thee, it should be I all bruised about my woman's parts and my legs all sticky with seed."
"But Madam!" Camilla exclaimed.
"No, I am mistress in this house," my mother said again, "Go rest and recover your strength for the trial to come," and when Camilla hesitated she said, "Go girl, I shall reconcile the house-hold to it, go!"
Thus Camilla had her first encounter with her mother in law to be.
Mother had no sense of the scale of the Hall, and little sense of direction, little sense at all my father averred, and in due course found herself in the kitchen where Camilla was drinking a cordial.
"That's the very thing girl," my mother told her, "Edward is not as other men, my mother said I should be abused each Friday, but Edward had abused me three times before our wedding day was out," so she told Camilla, "And it is as potent as it is robust, a seemingly endless supply of seed and when he tires he has a meal large enough for a platoon of militia, a tankard of Lemon barley-water and he is completely renewed."
"So you escaped?" Camilla asked.
"Yes," she said, "I was worn out, six and seven times a day," my mother explained, "I swore celibacy hundred times, but he looks so sad and that rampant prong so beautiful that every time my resolve crumbled like a sand-castle in the tide."
"And John?" she asked.
"One of the many bastard sons I'll wager," my mother said, "In Longsby Beacon there is hardly a child that doesn't but look at you with Edwards eyes." she suggested, "With his teeth and hair," she added and seeing Camilla's confusion she added, "Our old estate, at Longsby Beacon."
"Oh," Camilla said considerably alarmed and for once she stilled her tongue.
I came upon them as I followed father from stables to the kitchen, I had ridden out to warn him directly I saw mother approach and tried to warn him but he would not let me speak until he had explained the latest twist to his plot, "Now Dawson and I have seen Lord Oakes and has it in writing that he has no care whether Camilla lives or dies and hence no objection to her union with Farmingham on account of her being with child."
"He thinks Dawson is Farmingham?" I asked.
"He's fat enough to be a Lord!" my father exclaimed, although father himself was thin enough to use as a broom handle if such was required, "But indeed, poor man or shall I say poor Lady Oakes." he laughed but his humour was cut short by the sight of my mother in the kitchen with Camilla.
"Ah," she said, "You have returned,"
"Phoenicia," he exclaimed, "What a pleasant," he said.
"Enough!" she said, "Now where is your man, my luggage yet awaits in the stable yard yet no butler nor footman nor anyone of any utility is to be found."
"It shall be done," my father suggested, "The red room," he suggested, "Have Dawson arrange matters," he turned to me, "Well, don't just stand there!"
I did as he said, my father rather liked the red room, "Like a whore's palace," he said of the decor, as if he cared which place he used for pronging.
Dawson and I struggled with the mountain of luggage, it being the foot-man's half-day holiday, and one can hardly have a stinking Ostler about the upstairs with someone with such delicacy of the nose as my mother possessed.
"So," my father exclaimed, "Shall we go and see Reverend Soames," he asked, "Come along Camilla, " he urged, "And Phoenicia, Holly and Grace the maids are rested so have them help you sort your veritable drapers shop."
"Rested?" my mother queried, but my father was intent on rushing precipitately into matters so she received no answer.
At the church Reverend Soames was abroad, and Fillinger his curate and we all attended and not only Dawson, our butler, but even Bullinger our Ostler, acting as coachman, was invited inside.
I should have sensed trickery, "Now," said the Reverend, "The Earl asked me to explain the marriage service.
"Father!" I demanded, "What is afoot?"
"Well," he said, "I thought perhaps, next month," he said, "But I own tis tricky," he said, "I cannot prevent them fornicating, Reverend, though I have tried everything I know."
"Then they should be wed with alacrity," the Reverend agreed.
"So, let us rehearse matters,"my father suggested, "So that it might be done with efficiency and a measure of style."
So we were arranged at the alter rail, Camilla and I, and the Reverend, "Who gives this woman," he said and Bullinger stepped forward, and Dawson stood at my side as groomsman, and then he ran us through the words, "Do you take this Man," he asked.
"I do!" said Camilla."
"No!" the Reverend said, "Not until the day, for if I asked Lord Farmingham "Do you take this woman and he said."
"Yes!" I answered.
"Then you should be married," he said, "Oh lord!"
"Here my boy," Father said as he handed me a pocket full of rings, "Find one to fit."
"But!" the Reverend protested, and that was when father took a beautiful golden statue of the Virgin Mary from the bag Dawson was holding, and tempted the Reverend with it like one tempts a dog with a juicy bone, until the said reverend said, "But I suppose it will suffice, I now pronounce you man and wife."
"Well that was easy," my father said, "And cheap it's only gold plated brass." as we rode home.
Camilla was upset, "It was hardly a dream wedding," she said.
"Hardly a problem," my father said, "Phoenicia will undoubtedly organise something wildly extravagant in some cathedral or something a blessing perhaps, but at the very least you are legally wed."
My mother met us at the doorway, "Edward, what have you been doing?"
"Nothing of consequence," he said.
"Nothing at all, he just tricked us into marrying." Camilla added.
"Oh what a quaint sense of humour, what did you really do?" my mother asked, she looked around us, and then she saw Camilla's wedding ring.
"Oh you monster!" she railed, "Do you mean to say I've missed my only son's wedding!"
My Father started laughing.
"There will have to be a blessing!" my mother insisted, and father laughed even louder, "In the Abbey or a Cathedral!" father was laughing so hard tears ran down his cheeks.
"What does she mean only son?" Camilla asked, "Is she your mother?"
"Indeed," I explained, "Of course."
"Oh!" she said, and went strangely quiet.
"Camilla," my mother asked, "Who precisely are you?"
"Camilla Oakes, Lord Oakes daughter, Madam." she said, "Lord Farmingham's upstairs maid!"
"Now Phoenicia," my father said, "The marriage is not consummated yet, it may yet be annulled of the girl so wishes."
"I's that your wish," I asked as I held out my hand to Camilla, she took it.
"No, indeed not," Camilla said in some alarm, "Let us seal the matter forthwith," and she took my hand, "Quickly!" she urged and we flew up stairs and in the bed room as she threw aside her smock and leapt into my bed, I paused but briefly to dis-robed and as I leapt abed so did Camilla leap upon me, almost impaling herself on my prong as I lay back and there she remained for a long moment, "There!" she insisted, "Tis done, husband."
"Indeed!" I agreed, "Now on your back, let me please you!" and we wriggled around until we were laid comfortably and then came the serious matter of pleasure. She had long since divested herself of the hairs of her lower belly, for ease of cleanliness she averred, so the utter perfection of every fold of her womanliness was made plain and the easement of my appendage within those sweet lips was as poetry in motion so smoothly did it enter within, and any shyness she might have suffered was now cast to the four winds as she made her enjoyment plain with gasps and ohs and purrs like a contented cat.
She lay quietly afterwards, "Oh, my," she said, "I do believe wedded bliss is absolutely indistinguishable from wanton fornication."
"Indeed," I agreed, "Except that we are now required to produce an heir,"
"Well," she agreed, "I cannot see that that will be a particular trial."
There was a tap at the door, "Are you decent," my mother enquired.
"No but enter anyway." I shouted as I pulled the bed covers over us.
"So you are my new daughter are you?" my mother asked Camilla, and when she agreed mother continued, "Oh dear, I had hoped you were the maid, either that or a page boy." mother said, "It is all very well this cropped hair and."
"Mother!" I complained, "Her hair was hacked when she was falsely imprisoned, it will grow, we did our best."
"Oh?" she said.
"It was in golden ringets like an angel," I said, whereupon we regaled mother with the whole sorry tale.
It was supper time when we finished, we all ate heartily what with having missed dinner but my father was unusually merry, not merry as in pleased with what had passed but merry with anticipation.
Of course he had arranged for my mother to take the bed-room next to his own, the one painted like a whore's palace and when we retired his plan came to fruition, firstly the upstairs maids were allowed a nights holiday, then as he laid abed we all heard my mother shout, "Where are my ivories?"
Father attended directly, "My Ivories?" mother asked, "They accompany me everywhere,"
Camilla and I attended directly, "What is it," Camilla asked.
"My Ivories," my mother insisted, "In a walnut case."
"Ah," I agreed, knowingly, "Ivories,"
"What?" asked Camilla so I whispered,
"Ivory carvings of prongs in a variety of sizes," I explained.
"No!" she said "Surely not!"
"Yes a set from India!" I insisted.
"Edward!" my mother exclaimed in annoyance.
"Well we have not seen them!" I insisted, "Come Camilla."
They must have continued looking, not that they were to be found as my father had hidden them well,
"Well they were here!" my mother insisted, "Oh," and that's when she felt my father's hands on her waist, "Oh no, no that will not serve at all." she exclaimed but father was determined.
"Oh, but I allowed the maids the night off have some consideration!" he insisted, and the hooks and eyes on her robe were separating and then the lacings of her corset were undone and "No Edward no!" my mother protested, but it was futile as she well knew, "Oh very well then just once," she admitted.
We heard them Camilla and I, we thought something was wrong with all the moaning but it was mother averring that, "It has surely grown!" she said, "Edward it won't go Edward it Ahhhhhh Edward, ohh Edward." she exclaimed.
"You see you love it!" he exclaimed, "I own I've missed you," he said.
"What with a steady stream of strumpets?" she asked.
"Oh they are as like well water, refreshing enough, but to rod you is like as a draught of fine port wine." he declared.
"And you sir are still all urgency and no finesse, all bang and bash where a sweet 'I love you' would have lubricated that place copiously," we heard her say.
We sneaked away but then there was such a commotion that we hurried back, "Yes yes," my mother was wailing, "For heavens sake release the potion Edward, I am in the sorest of need," she averred, and then directly she averred "Ohhhhh yes that will suffice, indeed it will."
"Edward," we heard her say, "Shall we drain the snake again that you may rest easily?"
"Again?" he stormed, "The poor thing will be hard pressed to recover the entire week," he said "He has perforce to serve the needs of simple wenches not rampant women in the prime of life," he explained, "He requires careful training if he is to serve you as you require my sweet."
"Then Edward," my mother said triumphantly, "Do not start that which you cannot complete."
But her victory was short lived, "Phoenicia, feel he stirs anew, you may yet be sated!"
"Edward, it was said in jest!" my mother said, "Pray fetch a maid for I am utterly sated."
"No I shall not sample cheese when there is venison abroad!" he replied, "On your back wench and oblige me!"
"I shall not!" she averred and then cried, "For pities sake Edward that is the wrong hole, look take me from on top if you must and stop jabbing my behind." and after a creaking and rusting she said, "There, now do what you need to, and I shall, Ahhhhh, bear, ooohhhh, Edward ooohh you monster," she cooed, "That prong shall be the death of me!"
They were drinking from the same cup next morning, they quickly adopted a more decorous more formal way of deporting themselves as we appeared, which would have been more convincing if mother had not still worn her night dress and him his night shirt to breakfast at ten of the clock and gone.
There is something profoundly disturbing about the notion that one's father is still pronging one's mother rampantly even after twenty and more years of wedlock, but I supposed absence made the heart grow fonder and explained father's good humour when he visited mother in Brighton on rare occasions.
"Ah my children," Father said as he recovered his composure, "We have business abroad," he said, "Now find servants suits, man-servants suits for you both if you please, for this very day are we to uncover skulduggery of the basest kind.
As usual father was optimistic three times over for the morning was gone before we had found suits and he had pronged mother once more and all was settled, therefore we took carriage to Lord Oakes residence.
All was consternation, we arrived too late for Luncheon, too early for Dinner and uninvited in any case, which amused father immensely.
Of course father waited until the throng were entirely unprepared before he chose to ignite his powder keg of revelations and even then waited until asked, "But your Grace, why have you come."
"Dowry, my Lord, "My poor daughter in law has to borrow a servant's livery from a man servant to travel abroad sir, it does you no credit sir, no credit at all!"
"Indeed, but what care I about your bastard son?" Lady Oakes said inadvisedly.
"Lord Farmingham, your son?" Lord Oakes said nervously, "That great fat lump surely not," he thought a while, "Gad sir you cannot have been but ten years when he was sired!"
"May I present Lord Farmingham, Edward John Hunstanton, my son and heir." Father said proudly, "And Lady Farmingham," and Camilla and I had to step forward.
"Oh my word," Lady Oakes exclaimed, "She snared an heir Henry, despite everything look!"
"Mama, oh mama," Catherine and Lilla exclaimed as they heard her exclamation.
"Earl Norchester's heir, the damned child is to be a Countess!" Lady Oakes railed.
"But Mama you promised!" Lilla exclaimed.
"So girls, Lady Farminghams trouseau, fetch it or perchance your dresser could serve?" my father suggested.
"Yes, your sister is a Lady, be gad she outranks us all, damn I must bow to my own daughter and you sweet Katerina must curtsey."
"She has been disinherited!" Lady Oakes insisted, "By the courts, I shall not receive her, good day." and that was the finish we were dismissed, Lord Oakes was in a quandary but dared not act counter to his wife so with his apologies resounding emptily around with near the utmost discourtesy we were sent forth unrefreshed, supposedly in humilliation but for once and uncharacteristically father endured the whole dismissal with immense restraint, indeed one might have discerned if not actual amusement then with resignation.
"Well that went well Father," I said as we went away.
"Yes damn it!" my father replied, "But we shall laugh the later and the louder." and he set his jaw in a rare set of determination.
"We shall send a note to the High Sheriff," my father announced, "Request an interview, no indeed demand one, we were at the Windsor school you know." he boasted as it were something special, while I own after my own time there I felt it no better than a prison.
"Indeed Father, and what will you say?" I asked.
"Not I," my father said, "You, you know Mr Haynes treatise upon English Law backwards, you shall engage him with your superior intellect."
He never even sent a note, oh no he dragged me away from Camilla before we had even had a chance to conjoin and to the High Sheriff of Winsfordshire's abode at Goff's Castle near West Haldon.
We arrived mid morning, famished for food and with father badly in need of a chamber maid, "Earl Norchester to see My Lord the High Sheriff," my father announced with impressive pomposity.
"Have you an appointment, my Lord?" the man servant Hodgkins asked unwisely.
"Tis 'Your Grace,' but no matter," My father insisted, "Tell your master I have urgent business with him."
"Your Grace my master has a very full diary," the man servant continued, "He is a very busy man."
"As am I," lied father, "So fetch him, I have not a whole day to waste."
The poor man scurried away to return with a disgrunted gentleman.
"Hawkins, you said there was a Gentleman to see me," he complained, "Tis no such thing 'tis a rogue of the basest kind!" he laughed, "Edward, what brings you hence."
"My daughter in law Charles, a sorry tale, can you spare a moment?" father asked.
"Spare a week if needed, what is it pray?" the High Sheriff agreed, "So does this mean by some miracle your offspring has snared a wench?"
"Indeed he has, and an angel, Charles," father averred, "A veritable angel."
"This is Edward, the dullest dullard the Windsor school has ever seen?" he asked, "Your words Edward your words."
"Yes," my father said, "This is he."
"The one that took the Treatise upon English Law to read in bed after lights out?" he asked.
"The same!" my father averred, "Yes he did set the bedclothes afire with his candle that way."
"The one who read law in preference to kicking the pigs bladder around the quod?" the High Sheriff joked.
"Indeed." I spoke up, "Is there a pertinence to this line of questioning?"
"It is called a joke, see page thirty six," said my father as if I was a dullard, "No John, as we call him, has severe misgivimgs over Mr Justice Wiblethwaite's conduct of a case of indecency against his beloved."
"Then come through," the High Sheriff insisted, "I have heard much of this gentleman's eccentricity from diverse informants."
We sat and I laid out my complaints.
"So you aver that the law says 'Of noble birth' and not as Wibblethwaite took it "Of noble rank?" the High Sheriff asked.
"Indeed." I insisted.
"You are indeed a pedant of the most pedantic kind," The High Sheriff declared, "But there is no denying the matter, that is what the Law says."
"Let us take Luncheon, oh and Hodgkins," he said, "Summon Wibblethwaite forthwith, no pleasantries, to attend forthwith."
My father had not even explained the falsehood of the evidence and we had Wibblethwaite summoned.
He attended at four of the clock, my father was looking longingly at aged hags in the street at this juncture, and I myself would have gladly consorted with a comely housemaid but there was legal business to be conducted.
"I demand satisfaction!" Wibblethwaite insisted when on his arrival he had been summoned before the High Sheriff and I had repeated my charges.
"Satisfaction, he would blow your brains away before you knew which way to turn," the High Sheriff averred, "No admit it you buffoon you conducted a sloppy trial, condemned the wrong party and now you have either to put the matter right or your successor shall."
"Ha, you have not the power!" Wibblethwaite insisted.
"I think your charter part seventeen covers that my lord," I volunteered.
"Indeed," the High Sheriff agreed, "Shall you summon the parties again or shall I appoint a fresh Judge."
"What," Wibblethwaite demanded, "New Judge, Pah!" he almost choked, "And where would you find such?"
I felt all eyes looking at me, "Oh wait a moment!" I exclaimed, "I am set on a life of idleness."
"Reading law books," my father averred, "I'll wager, 'tis your duty my son."
"Then I shall re call the parties." the Judge answered in bad grace, "But Raiment will be near half way to the Antipodes by this juncture!"
"No matter," my father interjected, "Set the date and if he is late hold him in contempt and send him back again."
We stared at father, unsure if he had a moment of brilliance or if his brain had addled with the pressure of his unexpended seed.
Such remained undiscovered, as the high Sheriff's man brought word of a visitor, "A lady sir and her maid, they bring medication for his grace."
Father looked perplexed, "You came without your medication father," I explained as I guessed what was afoot, "Twice before breakfast, once at,"
"Medication!" father agreed, "Yes indeed, may I borrow a room?" but he was to be disappointed.
Mother indeed awaited him with Holly but if he thought to exercise his prong with a long gallop through her privateness then he was to be disappointed for, as he bemoaned later mother merely arranged for Holly to relieve the matter as a milkmaid milks a cow, as much to poor Holly's disappointment and indeed my father at first refused absolutely until mother offered him her own teat upon which to suck, but in any case the matter was dealt with in commendable promptness, and my fathers fears that thereby he should be rendered blind have thus far proved to lack veracity.
It was a relieved if bad humoured Earl that rejoined us and the matter was set for the Thursday of the week to follow.
"You really ought to sit an examination on the Law and become my deputy," the High Sheriff suggested, "I rather prefer the ceremonial to the tedium and you it seems thrive on tedia so a fruitful partnership ours could be."he added.
"And who should perform such an examination?" I asked.
"Why I should of course!" he said with a laugh and then we were gone.
We were home for Dinner and ate in good humour, until Mother mentioned that whilst she attended us at the the castle so she had left Clarissa in Gatesby with a maid to arrange for some more suitable clothing to be made.
"All trussed up like a Turkey," my father averred, "You will need a sharp dagger John, cut the lacings and bare the wench." Mother blushed red, "You remember mother?" my father asked fondly.
"Oh indeed, other men wooed me with sweet phrases and talk of love," Mother recalled, "This great ox simply took his dagger into father's maze and when we were lost he kissed me and when I was lost in passion simply ran it down my back scattering lacings and tearing cloth and he bared me and took my virtue saying 'Now you must wed me!"
"Shouldn't have been so damned pretty," he said by way of an excuse.
Gatesby came alive on the Thursday, Lord and Lady Oakes attended, and Catherine and Lilla and the High Sheriff, and everyone of consequence.
Poor Judge Wibblethwaite, he knew not the procedure, having been so lax and omnipotent for so long, but he muddled through in his muddlesome manner, prompted at every twist and turn by the High Sheriff.
"Ah," the Judge announced with unaccustomed humility, "A slight administrative matter has arisen, and I am indebted to Lord Farmingham for drawing it to my attention, but it seems the sentence upon Camilla Oakes, now Lady Farmingham, was not in accordance with letter of the regulation, so today we must hear the matter again"
He paused, "Who acts for the defence," he asked.
"I do!" I said forcefully.
"And the crown?" he asked.
"I do!" I saw Lord Oakes friend Mr Brabbinger rise, "Brabbinger sir, Brabbinger and Brabbinger commissioners for oaths."
"Then what say you Lady Farmingham, guilty or not guilty."
"Not guilty!" Camilla said stridently.
"Then proceed!" the Judge insisted.
The matter proceeded, "Miss Lilla Oakes, did you see the defendant in flagrante?" Mr Brabbinger asked.
"Ah, no, for the door prevented it but Mama said." Lilla admitted.
Then I questioned her, "Do you know the penalty for perjury, that is being untruthful upon oath is eternal damnation, and can also involve an earthly deportation to the Antipodes."
"No," she said, "No mother said none should know."
"Silence you fool!" Lady Oakes exclaimed.
"Mother told us what to say, and she paid Raiment ten shillings." Lilla continued compounding her guilt.
The matter proceeded, until in finality the Judge summed up, "In the matter of Miss Oakes, Lady Farmingham, there is no case to answer, you are dismissed, you leave with no stain upon your character, and some would say you have done rather well for yourself, ensnaring the son of an Earl thereby," he paused, "Which leads on to the matter of perjury, I am right in assuming that Lady Oakes does not wish to deny further her instigation of this sorry matter?"
"Ah no my lord!" Brabbinger agreed.
"But I do!" Lady Oakes insisted.
"Sit down you bloody fool before they have thee transported!" Lord Oakes said, "No hang it get transported, in a hold with a hundred lusty ne'er do wells."
"Then in a spirit of justice I order a period of incarceration in Gatesby Jail of one year," the Judge ordered, "With the option of a year serving my Lord Farmingham or indeed Earl Norchester in a menial capacity for a similar period." he said, "For the daughters, and for the mother Lady Oakes, I am afraid there is, in addition, the matter of one hundred lashes."
My father leapt to his feet with almost indecent haste, "If it pleases your lordship, In shall gladly welcome the ladies into my house and administer the chastisement."
"No, 'was done publicly to Lady Farmingham so it is fitting that it be done similarly," the Judge declaimed, "But I am a reasonable man, so if she shall suffer distress the residue shall be administered in privacy," and then he had a thought, "But for each stroke missed that number shall be administered weekly."
"No!" Lady Oakes cried,
"Silence!" the Judge railed, "You have brought your name and indeed mine into disrepute, I should have you deported but that you might revel in the depravity," he warned, "Now the warmth of your daughter's household or the cool of the jail cell, 'tis your choice."
"Ah!" Lady Oakes railed, "My daughter," she meant to say Camilla was no such person but the Judge took it as her decision and said.
"Then it is settled, Saturday before the Hanging." the Judge said, I hadn't the heart to say it but the poachers had not even been tried yet and he had already arranged a time for their hanging.
The usher went for the Oakes', both the Lady and the daughters, and then Lord Oakes sought Camilla, "My sweet will you ever forgive me?" he asked.
"No!" she said, "You believed that scheming harridan over me, it is unforgivable, but a kindness you may do."
"Anything!" he said.
"My Governess, Miss Daley," Cammilla insisted, "You should engage her as housekeeper," she added, "She toils as seamstress now and resides in poverty."
"And if I do?" he asked.
"Then we shall visit and receive you." Camilla agreed.
"But people will think we are living in sin!" Lord Oakes exclaimed.
"Indeed," my father agreed, "I should if it were I." on which note we whisked him away.
The poachers were indeed sentenced to hang, as poachers invariably are, and so after a brief period of incarceration in a sumptuously appointed cell at the castle, paid for, I later learned by my father, there came the hanging day and Lady Oakes was duly brought to the market square for her chastisement.
The stage for the gallows was again set up but the now the gallows themselves were there towering over the proceedings, the two nooses symbolic of the power of law. and as I sat with father and mother and my dear Camilla in the seats set aside for those of the first rank so was Lady Oakes removed from the prison cart, a cart with a cage in which prisoners were transported and was manhandled to the stage where Mister Gibbons the gargantuan weather beaten hangman Wibblethwaite always employed was waiting menacingly, a sly grin on his grizzled face as if he relished his task.
Gibbons grasped Lady Oakes with his muscled arms and he just ripped away her gown and and her under things before he cut the cords of her corset and let her ample belly expand the instant it were freed from constriction and wasting no time on fripperies he bared her brutally and entirely,so brutally that Camilla realised that he had shown her some regard in his treatment of her as he freed Lady Oakes breasts and twisted her teats brutally so they stiffened instantly.
The throng gasped at his boldness or her humilliation and in an instant was she bared entirely and shown as being as plump and unwholesome as any serving wench that might seek employ as sweeper out of ale house or brothel, and then clasping his great whip in his huge hand he brought it down across her back in a diagonal line from shoulder to buttock with such force that she fell to the floor instantly, "You make a fool of my master at your peril!" he quipped.
Gibbons waited for Lady Oakes to stand and when she did not he ordered his underlings that disreputable pair Firkin and Hallows, forward and they each took hold of one of Camilla's arms and dragged her up again. and Gibbons again arced the mighty whip that evil device somewhere between the cat o' nine tails and horse whip, down upon Lady Oakes' pasty bloated flesh.
"Some haste please Mr Gibbons," I heard Judge Wibblethwaite order, and as I looked across I saw him there, presiding at the edge of the stage, "Get on with it, man!" he insisted impatiently but his underlings were now turning Lady Oakes that all might see the dark fur cover of her private parts and view her loins and mounds and buttocks, as naked and pink and quivering with fear she shook now in utter humilliation.
So weakened by idleness was she that she collapsed at every stroke of the whip, Gibbons slackened his assault noticeably in deference to her frailty until Judge Wibblethwaite ordered, "Go to it man, blood man, draw blood I say." and then, "No discount that one that was but a tap," he insisted, "Thirty nine!"
For me, I own time near stood still as I remembered the way the wicked leathered straps of the whip had savaged poor Camilla but her flesh yielded instantly and swiftly regained its former shape with the faintest blued tinge of bruising so Lady Oakes either showed a livid red groove which remained or else cut deeply with much letting of blood.
"Gibbons, sixty will suffice," The Judge shouted at length as a desire to have the poachers hung in good time for luncheon rather than compassion swayed his judgement, "Forty nine!" he added.
Gibbons now glistened with sweat and besplattered with blood as were his assistants he rose to complete his task.
"For pities sake!" Lord Oakes cried but his cry was now lost among his wife's own screams and the hubbub of cheers and jeers from the throng who thus expressed their joy.
"For pities sake," he cried, but the entreaty was drowned among a host of chants, "Fifty!" someone chanted, I joined immediately as did Camilla and the hubbub grew, "Fifty One, Fifty Two, Fifty Three," They chanted and in a crescendo, "Fifty Eight, Fifty Nine, Sixty."
Gibbons took his whip and bowed to the throng, and then his assistants Firkin and Hallows held Lady Oakes and they bowed and holding her in her nakedness they made her curtsy to the throng in turn and then, was Lady Oakes laid aside and attention turned to the poor wretches ready to be hung.
"Mama, Mama!" the silly daughters simpered over the naked prone form of their mother until my father sent Dawson to fetch them and he tenderly carried Lady Oakes from the Gallows stage and placed her in fathers open carriage where still naked but now accompanied by her daughters she was taken to Gatesby Hall, but round the circuitous route through Barrowby where the monthly market would have been in full swing, to increase Lady Oakes discomfiture to the
utmost.
By this stratagem were we able to watch Lady Oakes depart and indeed receive her at Gatesby Hall, in preparation for the next stage of her humilliation.
But what of Lord Oakes he was shaken to his core by events, and with his wife revealed to all as a liar and displayed to all in nakedness as she was whipped publicly and his step daughters also swept away to servitude he suffered the most sudden and grievous solitude and as my father suggested sought solace with Miss Daley my dear wife's former governess, such solace as produces babies, a son no less, in due course but while this is rushing ahead to an excessive degree in this chronology it will answer why Lord Oakes was essentially absent from his wife and step daughters tribulations.
And indeed what of Lady Oakes, it was frightening in the extreme to see the hatred of the woman and her daughters that sweet Camilla displayed, indeed she shouted "You there, don't assist the hag kick her and whip her to speed her on her way!" as Dawson supported her as he brought her through the back door to the Hall.
"Oh Camilla what a wonderful house you have here!" the stupid step sisters tittered.
"So husband which is the prettier?" Camilla asked.
"Why you dearest!" I agreed.
"Of those two Mr Idiot!" she said.
"Oh neither, or both what care I?" I replied.
"So you care not which you prong the first?" she asked.
"But my sweetness!" I exclaimed.
"They put me through the agony of your insertions and such shall they endure!" she said, "And when they have endured and become enamoured of your attentions then they shall be denied them."
"But my love I desire none but your sweet softness," I told her.
"But you will my love, for me?" she asked, "And brutally with no consideration what ever." she insisted.
To be continued.
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