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Timeout
Author: Blackstar
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(Added on May 22, 2003)
(This month 24215 readers) (Total 46574 readers) |
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A guy is presented with a time machine and a mission. In a near-future the human race is dying out due to loose sexual morals and sexual practices carrying their influence from the present time , into the future. He is asked to select various females who have had a strong immoral sexual influence in today's society and remove them to a time-zone in the past where they could be punished appropriately. This includes local prostitutes, promiscuous teenagers, TV presenters and film stars. All removed so their influence would not be a bad example to decent girls who would not normally being immoral. Scenarios include sluts who confess in newspapers they had sex with celebrities . TV weather girls, lap dancing girls and celebrities who have lived a life of debauchery or adultery. Each has a year in the past , a location and a punishment awarded to them, which are then shown on TV in the future as a strong deterrent. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 7 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (3.5/10) |
| Average
Rating: (3.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (7/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (2/10) |
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| Reviewer:
ramses
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 5, 2008 |
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A lot of ideas, none of them worked out satisfactory. I guess you could call this story biblical. The starting point certainly is.
(2/10)
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| Reviewer:
Mothbrad
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 9, 2008 |
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Very nice story, with lots of grammar problems, but creativity to spare. Recommended if you can put up with that. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 10, 2004 |
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simply did nothing for me, snuff is not good, sci-fi is fair the whole story lacked (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
fetish101
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 9, 2003 |
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like the others said, I have to commend the imagination required for some of these ideas (maggots in the pussy?? damn...)
But imagination alone does not carry the obvious flaws, most notibly the out of order paragraphs, incomprehensible sentences and huge grammatical errors.
In my opinion, this Author should have paid more attention in high school english classes and learned to formulate ideas in script a little more fluently before writing a story like this that involves a relatively high level of skill bringing ideas together. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
bdsmbill
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 25, 2003 |
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The author has good imagination, but needs to work on writing skills. This story is disjointed and filled with spelling and grammar errors. Also, whole sections are out of order. The premise is fresh and interesting, but the execution was lacking. (2/10)
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| Reviewer:
BDSM_Tourguide
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 24, 2003 |
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Failed to hold my interest. The story reads too much like an outline, not a completed work. (3/10)
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| Reviewer:
boccaccio2000g
(Edit) |
Rating: |
May 23, 2003 |
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To his credit, Blackstar has a very fertile imagination, one which might one day produce a successful story. But the author himself didn't bother to read this story:<br>"she showed her arse still badly welted from that<br>months doserting the shaft, picked up the mallet and droatching dignities". Huh???? <br>A little later a few paragraphs having to do with Arabs and maggots find their way into a scene with "Vidal* the Impaler" in eastern Europe. Then, a few pages later on, the same passage with the maggots shows up in its proper place in the story. Please Blackstar -- and all authors -- if you want your readers to take the time to read your story, take the time to read it yourself first, so that you can remove as many of the errors as you can. I assure you that the author of every good story you have ever read has gone over his or her work time and again trying to make it a better story. Can you afford to do any less?<br>*Not to be confused with Vlad the Sassoon<br> (2/10)
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