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Thank You, Master
Author: Daphne
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(Added on Oct 14, 2003)
(This month 8894 readers) (Total 14970 readers) |
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A slave is left at home while Master is away, He has left her instructions for her evening shower... |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 4 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (7.5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 11, 2006 |
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outstanding, your master is quite the dom, and i admire him, yopu seem to be the perfect slave (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
deepbluemm
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Apr 11, 2004 |
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Daphne writes with exquisite, seductive, captivating detail and imagination. Beautiful detail such as "I then placed 3 pieces of ice into my waiting cunt, it tightened almost
instantly, not that this was needed by any means as I work very hard to keep my Master's cunt very tight for both our pleasure..." So much packed into a few lines. Beautiful work. I long for more. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
Curtis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 18, 2003 |
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A little too metaphysical for my taste. If I understand, in the end, her Master was a figment of her imagination? Sorry I can't give the kind of detailed review Alex did, but I found your story enjoyable and look forward to reading others. (7/10)
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- Replied by:
Daphne
(Edit) (Oct 18, 2003)
- <smiling> no..my Master is not a figment of my imagination, Curtis...He was really away and had left me instructions. This was not a "story" but an accounting of my actual shower, but thank you for your comments.
Daphne
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| Reviewer:
Alex Bragi
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Oct 18, 2003 |
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Daphne,
I love this story idea of yours, its different and exciting.
This is a very short piece, a vignette I guess. To me, I felt you included too much detail in some areas and not enough in others. Your reader doesn't really need to know or want to know, for instance that: 'I shampooed and conditioned my hair then washed from face to toes.' But on the other hand they sure as hell want more juicy details than: ' I bent double and carefully shaved from the top of the crack of my ass to the top of my mound.' Throughout your story I noted it was cluttered with details most people would skim over, while there were many missed opportunities to really put some heat into it. e.g. 'Carefully shaved' could have, and should have, been a lot more detailed. Avoid using adverbs when ever you can, they're weak words.
I see this is the first story you have posted,
I wish you well with your future writing. (6/10)
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- Replied by:
Daphne
(Edit) (Oct 18, 2003)
- Alex,
Thank you for your honest and helpful review. This is my first story, but hopefully not my last. After reading through it again, I see what you are talking about and will strive to make the details of the interesting parts more exciting.
Again, thank you for your honesty.
Daphne
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