|
|
|
|
|
Clair's New Toy
Author: XtremeInk
|
| |
(Added on Dec 4, 2003)
(This month 39418 readers) (Total 105555 readers) |
| |
This is a custom story I'm writing for someone, so it's not my usual fare. Clair forces Ann into becoming her pain toy. There will be lots of nc sex in this. It's a little slow to start, but will have more sex toward the end. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 9 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
22% |
11% |
0% |
44% |
22% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (6/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 16, 2010 |
| |
If "Clair's New Toy" shows at least one thing, then it is that XtremeInk is good at inventing ways to torture a woman, but not so good at writing. Now, there's the excuse that this story was written at someone's request, along some exact outlines made by that requester, but that shouldn't hamper an author from coming up with something 'good'.
"Clair's New Toy" isn't good. It has its moments, yes, but the structure is all wrong, letting XtremeInk wander off too often from what's happening, to concentrate on what bystanders (innocent or otherwise) are thinking, to then come back to the action. Reading stories written like this is quite unnerving.
I also agree with Roamer. And XtremeInk's excuse is a lame one. You're either a good writer and come up with something decent, or you're not and you get a chopped-up vehicle like "Clair's New Toy". Disappointment all around.
JJ (6/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Abe Froman
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 16, 2005 |
| |
A good story, especially for toilet play fans, but I'd agree with some of the previous reviewers and say a bit more characterization would help. It would be good to know why the husband reacts in the extreme way he does. (7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Roamer
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Feb 24, 2004 |
| |
It started well but you skipped characertization. Perhaps a little more time could have been taken in developing character motivation. (6/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
XtremeInk
(Edit) (Feb 24, 2004)
- This story was written FOR someone else. The person running the show added a ton of stuff and wanted it done it a small amount of writing. There was very little time for character motivations or developement.<br>Thanks for the review.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
jbowler65
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 4, 2004 |
| |
Very promising start to what appears to be a classic. We hope to read future chapters soon! (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
buskeyTR
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 30, 2003 |
| |
This is one of the best nc stories I have read in a long time. It's right up there with "Taking Carol" - "Attonement" - & "Owned Teacher". Keep up the great work on this story, I hope it goes 40 chapters or more!!! (10/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Curtis
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 22, 2003 |
| |
At the end of part two, except for some typos, this story is perfect. Maybe I should try commissioning something from you. (10/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
XtremeInk
(Edit) (Dec 22, 2003)
- Why thank you. I'm working with an editor so hopefully the typos will be history for the next parts.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
sm4hg
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 6, 2003 |
| |
Now, this is what I call a promising start. Keep up the good work. I'm anxious to read more.
The second part goes on slower, but I'm still tensed what you have in mind for poor Anne. Take your time with proceeding, although I want to read more soon. (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 4, 2003 |
| |
Hope there is much more to come, i love nc stories with women :) (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
woolfighter
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 4, 2003 |
| |
Good timing and excellent scenario. Can't wait for the sequel. (9/10)
|
|
|
About 