|
|
|
|
|
Under The Bridge
Author: Sir_Nathan
|
| |
(Added on Dec 6, 2003)
(This month 49823 readers) (Total 64040 readers) |
| |
A shop attendant gets more than she bargained for. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 5 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| 1 |
2 |
3 |
4 |
5 |
6 |
7 |
8 |
9 |
10 |
| 0% |
0% |
0% |
0% |
60% |
0% |
20% |
0% |
20% |
0% |
|
Weighed
Average (?):  (6/10) |
Average
Rating:  (6.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (9/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (5/10) |
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
littleslut
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 5, 2004 |
| |
i realy enjoyed this peice it shows a great depth of writing skill making it highly enjoyable to read and i only hope that we can see more work by Sir_Nathan in the future (9/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
CoffinNail
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 17, 2003 |
| |
Personally, I find the "W/we" crap in stories silly, pretentious, and quite often indicative of a very basic lack of writing skill, not to mention imagination. Were you to put forth the effort, you could make the D/s nature of the story's relationships clear without having to fall back on that tired ploy. (5/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Sir_Nathan
(Edit) (Dec 17, 2003)
- Silly, pretentious and a lack of basic writing skill? Then how could you possibly get to the end of it? Let alone bring yourself to write a review. Don't read it - I don't care.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
Equalizer
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 13, 2003 |
| |
Pro: Erotic in parts.
Cons: 1. The D/s lit style, particularly in dialogue. What purpose does it serve? 2. Sentence structures were repetitive, subject-verb-object. Maybe it was deliberate. In any case it didn't work for me. (5/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Sir_Nathan
(Edit) (Dec 13, 2003)
- What purpose does it serve? What is wrong with you people. You said it yourself - it's the "D/s Lit style." I thought this was a D/s site. Get over it. Thank you for your constructive criticism of sentence structure however. I am a new writer and this sort of thing is helpful.
- Replied by:
Equalizer
(Edit) (Dec 13, 2003)
- What's wrong with 'us people' is that we can't see the purpose of writing like this:
"Where are W/we going?!"
It's grammatically incorrect; it's distracting to the reader; and it adds nothing to a reader's comprehension or enjoyment of your story.
- Replied by:
Sir_Nathan
(Edit) (Dec 15, 2003)
- Okay - that's enough for Me. < Note I type that way to let you know who I am and from what perspective I write and respond. I would like any one who cares, to read this response carefully.
It is My choice if I write in this manner. As it has been said, it is D/s style, a thing that is not negotiable here. It is a right.
The problem with this site is that too many of the reviews received here are from "fellow" writers. Writers who believe, for whatever reason, that they have the "right" to trash other's work as not being, "clever enough", or "properly written", or and have the inherent right to pass judgement on others using some false sense of wit.
If the overwhelming majority of people *READING* this story - vote it as 9 out of ten (on another site), then where does this put your review?
Perhaps somewhere where it misses the point...
The purpose of writing a review is not to discourage but to encourage. This is an amateur site for god's sake. I have been writing for two and a half years. I doubt I will ever be more than a decent hack who can spin a story.
But unfortunately, READERS here are not going to be able to see that. Because they don't write reviews. Only "members" do - and to be a member you have to either join, or be a writer.
And from most of My reviews, I can see a bunch of similarly gifted "hacks" all trying to step over each other, and the only way to go up seems to be, for them at least, to drag others down.
I am going to exercise My choice. And no longer contribute to this site.
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 9, 2003 |
| |
Wish it was all NC, would and could have been great, still enjoyable however to read (7/10)
|
|
|
|
|
| Reviewer:
lex ludite
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 8, 2003 |
| |
This one could easily have been subtitled " A Dirty Old Man's Fantasy". I can't say that I was very impressed by the fact that every reference to the dirty old man was capitalized and poor kelly was always lower case, how original. I'll let the stream of consciousness non-sentences pass, but in the long term they can be hazardous to the writer's health. In keeping with the fantasy concept I can handle kelly's behavior, so no quibbles there. Since this may only be the first installment of a longer work, it will get the usual bookmarked rating which can and usually does change as more of the author's story is presented. (5/10)
|
| |
- Replied by:
Sir_Nathan
(Edit) (Dec 8, 2003)
- A Dirty Old Man's Fantasy? You twat. Get a life - christ mate it's a fucking story for god's sake. On a story site. I have read some of your drivel and you are hardly one to criticise.
"lex" then messaged Me privately and added this:
lex ludite wrote on 12-09-2003 02:16 AM:
What the hell is wrong with you? This story is just fiction, no one is arguing that point. Why are you taking this observation so personally? Did I strike a nerve, that was not my intention. In the future if you wish to fly off the handle,at least have the sense to do it rationally. As for your comment that I write drivel, well that's an opinion that is shared by some number of people, but I'm not really troubled by objections to my stuff, it is mine and I make no apologies for it. To sum it up,I guess you, like many of the scribes that post to this site are overly sensitive about your deathless prose and refuse to accept the fact that it is possible that it could be improved. That's a shame. I guess I'll just have to add you to the list of thin skinned scribblers that are overly sensitive to anything less than rave reviews.
To which I replied:
Or, you might write something constructive. It wasn't a review. It was a put down, and you know it. If it can be improved, say how, otherwise don't write a criticism. Don't bother. 30 years? You'd think you would know better than to cross swords with another hack. Thin skinned? Perhaps receiving ridiculous "reviews" from people who have no respect for the time and effort another puts into their work makes for a reaction like this. One should take the time to learn how to be a critic, and not rely on their perceived cleverness with words, before judging other's work. These comments are being added to the review you wrote.
|
|
|
About 