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The Capture of Sweet Pussy Pam
Author: Sir Stroker88
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(Added on Dec 24, 2003)
(This month 63418 readers) (Total 90285 readers) |
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Male Mid level manager is asked to train a bright but arrogant female intern. He manipulates her and she gets a different kind of training.Not the kind she expected. Part one of a series detailing her capture. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 6 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
Average
Rating:  (8.5/10) |
Highest
Rating:  (10/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (7/10) |
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| Reviewer:
littleslut
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jun 18, 2004 |
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the character delevlopment was fantastic the language clear-ish, the begining was a bit of a slog but when you got into the story i found i could almost relate with the characters. realy enjoyable read. (10/10)
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| Reviewer:
Talonskitten
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 5, 2004 |
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It took a while to become interested in the story..the beginning dragged it's feet a bit. The ending, however, made hanging in their worthwhile. Quite enjoyable. (8/10)
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- Replied by:
SirStroker88
(Edit) (Jan 7, 2004)
- Thanks for the kind review. Good food for thought. When I write theses stories I often find myself torn between taking my time (dragging) to develop the characters and getting right to the heat. Having said that; I’m aware that character and plot development do not have to “drag” if done well. I tend to fault on the side of story development because as a reader I am not turned on by erotica unless I care at least a little for the characters and their situations first. Problem is; sometimes after slugging through a lot of “development” I find the writer is not very good at descriptive erotic writing! Doesn’t that just piss ya off? Anyway, I appreciate that you slugged through my build-up and am glad that you found it worthwhile. I will make an effort to increase reader interest earlier on in my stories.
SirStroker88
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| Reviewer:
e.e. norcod
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Jan 3, 2004 |
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Brother Braggi has it right. Stilted dialogue is what so far keeps this story from an even higher rating. With improvement in the further episodes this could easily rate an nine or even a ten with me. The essence of a great occupational BDSM story is the motivation behind what impells the female character to submit herself to the degration that follows. Taking the entire first episode to establish the ever deepening cycle of blackmail is masterful. You really didn't need the first jerk-off paragraph, what followed was more than sufficient to hook most readers.
Good Luck. I hope that subsequent chapter will elicit further review from me. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
kemosabe
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 27, 2003 |
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Interesting take on an old plot. Looking forward to more. (7/10)
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| Reviewer:
mkemse
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 27, 2003 |
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I am curious as to where you will go from here (9/10)
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- Replied by:
SirStroker88
(Edit) (Jan 6, 2004)
- Me too! I had intended to end the series at three but, I really got interested in this "Donna" character. I'm not sure where it will go but I have decided it is a go. Thanks for the rating!!
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| Reviewer:
Alex Bragi
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Dec 26, 2003 |
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Let me tell you I’m in lust with this one! I’m enjoying it very much so far, and I’m certainly looking forward to more of the same. Many times, throughout these first chapters, I smiled and rolled my eyes simply because this is so much more than just your average happy wank story, it’s very entertaining also!
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There’s just one thing that’s driving me nuts here. It's the way a lot of the dialog is presented. I'm not an expert on any of this, so I’m not sure whether or not it’s ‘incorrect’, but I really found the continuation of different characters' dialog confusing. Adding to that, in several places, you have the same character's dialog but new sentences in new inverted commas. Like I said I’m not an expert, but I am your average reader, so if I found it confusing, others may also.
(9/10)
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- Replied by:
SirStroker88
(Edit) (Jan 6, 2004)
- You are too generous and right. Grammar was awful and confusing. This was my first submission to an erotic lit site. I have rewritten in clearer format. I expect my future work will be clearer. Appreciated your input.<br>Rgds<br>SirStroker88@yahoo.com
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