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How the other half live
Author: Matt Devine
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(Added on Mar 5, 2009)
(This month 60302 readers) (Total 77533 readers) |
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One girl with a perfect life and a prostitute are going to change places |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 2 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (5/10) |
Average
Rating:  (4.5/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (5/10) |
Lowest
Rating:  (4/10) |
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| Reviewer:
Major Littmann
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 9, 2009 |
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Tremendously disappointing execution of a promising story concept. The methodology behind the mind control is plain unbelieveable Sci Fi.
I agree Jimmy Jumps comments but I think he is too generous (4/10)
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| Reviewer:
JimmyJump
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Mar 5, 2009 |
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Writing style leaves to be desired. Every sentence is written as if it has no connection with the one before or the one after and they read like little statements all on their own, giving the reader the impression of a certain monotony, like a child reading every line in the same droning tone.
That the tale is written in the present tense (which isn't held, as here and there a past tense slips in) doesn't help either.
The fact that there's nothing to indicate the start/end of a conversation or inner musing works confusing as well, or at least, the conversations don't seem to fit into the narrative.
Some errors also; like the omitting of some words or misplaced ones.
The idea isn't bad, but the execution has loads of room for improvement.
JJ (5/10)
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