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Visiting Holly
Author: Darinost
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(Added on Aug 13, 2011)
(This month 89082 readers) (Total 121416 readers) |
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Mitch pays a visit to one of his favorite toys. |
| Ratings and Reviews: |
| Number
of Ratings: 3 |
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Weighed
Average (?):  (8/10) |
Average
Rating:  (9/10) |
| Highest
Rating: (9/10) |
| Lowest
Rating: (8/10) |
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| Reviewer:
wttozer
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 29, 2011 |
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Looking forward to the tie in. (9/10)
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| Reviewer:
SamCurious
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 19, 2011 |
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very good indeed. please keep posting. (8/10)
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| Reviewer:
Michael247
(Edit) |
Rating: |
Aug 15, 2011 |
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Well, that was a pleasant surprise.
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I haven't been back on the BDSM Library in quite a while and the very first story I picked to read was not only well written, but had a credible plot and was interesting. The story is actually written for the most part in first person, which allowed the author to use the narrator's memory as the prime substance of the story. We're treated to several decent scenes of Holly's abuse which are well written and interesting - if a bit disgusting.
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From a grammatical perspective, "Visiting Holly" is in great shape. The author uses complex sentences well, adding depth and complexity to the writing. The vocabulary is simple enough to appeal to most reading levels without being insulting to higher level readers, and if there were errors, I didn't notice them. That says a lot about an author's writing ability.
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To be honest, there isn't a lot to critique here. The author did a good job. However, if I HAD to find SOMETHING to snip about, I would point out that the "remembered" scenes the narrator describes in detail, don't really add to the sexual tension building in the story. Granted, they don't HURT it either, but had we gotten a bit more of that "innocence" vibe at the beginning, followed by the "I'll kill you vibe" later, with us knowing how Holly turns out... well... that would have been pretty darn impressive. As it is, the story's tension works fine, but it's a constant thing, rather than a push and pull.
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One of the other things I really liked was that I ended up disliking the narrator rather quickly, and yet I liked what he did. (To an extent. I'm not into the scat and pee stuff, but I never rate on content like that.) That said, the surprise third person ending of the epilogue was absolutely perfect because it provided readers like me a sort of explanation for Holly's behavior, an admiration for her determination, and some serious questions about what the hell would give her reason to endure what the narrator and his "group" are doing to her.
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The author states that this story is part of a group, so I'll have to go read a few of the others because my curiosity has been aroused... along with some other thing.
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In summary we've got a really good story and provided you can stomach all of the nasty stuff going on, it's titillating and interesting. I love Porn With Plot. Well done.
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Yours Faithfully, Michael Alexander
www.michaelalexanderstories.com (9/10)
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