Chapter One - Spring

New life surged through my veins. The morning sun was warm on my face, the fresh sweet dew cool and refreshing beneath my body. It was a new life, new growth, and the start of a journey.

My new Master and Mistress had brought me out here. i did not ask why, that was not my place. The soft folds of the silken scarf wadded in my mouth proscribed questions in any case.

i was naked, and helpless, as a good slave should be. This was all new to me, and i lay in the long grass, inhaling the heady scent of damp earth, and taking a childish pleasure in the tickle of the foliage on my soft skin.

A thick scarf was tied around my head, covering my eyes. i had no idea to where i had been taken, only that it was the wish of my owners, therefore it was right. But i was content, there in the warm, with the other four senses striving to feed me information on the world around me. A cool breeze stirred the fine hairs on my arms, raising goose pimples; a small scurrying insect, an ant i hope, momentarily thrilled me by running across my foot. i could hear the sound of the cuckoo, Heralding a bright new year, and the varied chirps of smaller birds and the rustles as they flitted from branch to branch, all alive with the joy of the new spring.

i breathed in, enjoying the scent of the clean air, mixed with the fragrance of my owners. Already i had learned to distinguish them, over long hours in darkness. His: warm and masculine, fresh and strong, Hers: delicate, spicy, sharp.

They had summoned me, and now i was Theirs, contracts signed - my life, my hopes, my future, now transferred into Their hands, and my spirit in bondage to Theirs, as much as was my body.

i heard the grasses rustle, felt the movement of the air, smelled His scent, as He approached. i could almost visualise it as He bent down beside me. My senses painted a picture glowing with vibrant colours that my eyes could never hope to emulate. i heard the small breath He took before the words drifted across me.

"You are here, because We wished it. You are Ours. You will obey every command, fulfil Our every desire. Our happiness is your happiness; Our disappointment is your punishment. Do you understand?"

i nodded in the affirmative, my head rustling the grass beneath it.

A small sigh - of satisfaction? "Excellent. Then We shall begin."

Warm, hard hands closed over mine, then lifted away. The sensation of pressure quickly abated as the thin rope binding my wrists crossed in front of me loosened and fell away. My arms were free, and i let them flop to my side, feeling them thud to the soft earth with a sense of relief.

The almost- whistle of something cutting swiftly through the warm air, then the thunderclap of sensation, the sharp slap, and the instant blossoming of pain on my left breast, leaving me gasping and chewing at the cloth stuffing my mouth, too shocked by the abruptness of the blow to even attempt to cry out.

Tears started in the corners of my eyes, running down the sides of my face beneath the blindfold. What had i done? Had i failed already, or was this part of the lesson?

His voice gave me the answer almost immediately. "I did not give you permission to move those arms. An early lesson for you, slave."

There was a lump in my throat as i hurriedly returned my arms to their former position.

The second blow came without warning, not even the prescience afforded by the movement of air. His slap was still tingling on my skin, the heat beating into my tender breast, as His voice came again. "I did not give you permission to move those arms, slave."

A frown creased my brow, even as the tears stung at my eyes and my breast throbbed at the impact of His hand. i don't understand, i called in the darkness of my mind. In my confusion i let my arms drop again, and scarcely had i done so when a third crack of flesh on flesh preceded a harsher, more painful sensation.

This time i cried out, yelling into the cloth gag, arching my back as if that could somehow eliminate the pain.

And His voice again, with no change of tone or pitch. "I did not give you permission to move those arms slave."

i wept into the cloth over my eyes. What was i doing wrong? i thought i was obeying. How was i making these mistakes, why had i failed?

"Those arms are a problem to you, i can see that," He whispered, His breath hot against my ear. "It is too soon, my pet, too soon for you."

Too soon? What did He mean?

My answer was to be peremptorily rolled over on my front, my smarting breasts mashed into the soft ground, the wiry grass stalks instantly springing upright, wherever my body presented a crevice - up into my cleavage, and i could swear one even wormed its way into the warm darkness between my legs. i had not sufficient time to take in the host of new sensations before my arms were gathered in one of those strong hands and i felt the kiss of cold metal around my left wrist. i lay still and rigid, not wishing to invite further retribution as the steel encircled my wrist, and there was a series of clicks, as the cuff was ratcheted shut.

My right arm was pulled taut, and that wrist was similarly enclosed, before His grip slackened. My hands thudded into the small of my back, my wrists held close by the handcuffs.

i breathed again, as best i could with my face buried in the grass. Silently, i thanked my Master for the gift of the handcuffs. No control, that was better. With no control, there could be no mistakes. No mistakes, no punishment. i understood now. But i knew, as i grew and flourished under Their care and tutelage, that there would be more control, and i would have to learn to avoid the mistakes myself.

i felt His hand again, stroking up and down on my bare behind, roving over the cheeks, and then dipping between into the crack, the fingers probing all the way to the ring of my ass. i caught my breath, as the long slim finger circled around and around, and finally withdrew. "Too soon again," His voice smiled. "But not long now, maybe even next time."

My throat constricted at His words. Next time…next time those questing fingers would plunge deep into my ass, and the time after…?

Without warning, my world revolved again, and i was on my side, with the sun warming my back, my pinioned arms, and my bottom. Then i caught another scent. She was there, and so close. Her perfume wafted over me, as She came closer.

i swallowed and tried to anticipate the next move, but blindfolded as i was, there was no telling.

And then, a firm grip around my left nipple. i yelped and then moaned softly as a stream of well-being flooded through me as She kneaded the nipple between thumb and fingers. Pinpricks of pleasure spread across my back, followed by a quaking shudder. Unbidden, the warmth at the centre of my body, of Their body, the first dew of arousal between my legs.

She continued to roll my nipple, and at the same time, i felt Her other hand, soft and cool, gliding down my stomach, leaving a wake of tingles, as it circled my abdomen and drifted down to stroke slowly around my smooth mound.

My breath quickened and my heart rose to join the silk in my mouth, as the tip of one fingernail scored the sensitive flesh. i sighed with a mixture of pleasure and discomfort, and instinctively thrust out my pelvis, the left hip, upon which the weight of my body rested, grinding into the grass and earth beneath.

"A good response," Her voice, light and refreshing as an April shower. "You show promise."

i glowed with happiness, with pride. So soon after punishment, a compliment of no little magnitude.

Master was still there, i could both sense and smell him, but He was no longer by my ear. Engaged as i was with Mistress' attentions, i had ceased to pay attention.

The folly of this was soon impressed upon me as with another rush of air, my backside unexpectedly quivered under an enormous blow. A loud slap echoed in my ears, even as i cried out, and at the same time Mistress' fingers slipped quickly between the folds of my labia and deep into my pussy. The combination of pain and pleasure was instantly overwhelming. The nerve endings in both front and back were quivering with the twin assaults and i fought to stay in position on my side.

Another blow assailed my ass-cheek as another finger joined the first inside me. My senses were overloaded with the blend of the good and the bad, and my only outlet was to sob into my gag, in a confusion of contentment and self-pity. i truly could not understand why They were doing this, but then, i was Theirs. They must have had Their reasons. i knew They were good people; they had taken me in when everyone was against me. They'd set me back on my feet, healed my hurt. i owed them everything, and i'd paid with my entire being. i was Theirs for as long as they wanted me. My legs, free and unbound, kicked at the empty air, scant seconds before two stinging blows landed on my heated buttocks.

There was no corresponding sensation within my pussy, and i knew that i had done wrong. i had moved my legs.

i gulped, my dry throat transforming it into the effect of swallowing a golf ball, and felt my legs seized, and something soft and supple wrapped around them, jamming the anklebones together painfully as it was tightened.

"And we were doing so well," She breathed, a note of regret in Her voice.

One, two, three, four, the slaps rained down again, my asscheeks wobbling as His hand struck and spikes of pain spearing through my body and, even as i lay there, my muscles tensed with the effort to remain still and weeping fitfully behind the cloth of gag and blindfold, a third and fourth finger were jammed into my cunt, and i gasped again, as a soothing wave of arousal washed over my pain.

It was then, as i first felt the soft lapping of His tongue on my already erect nipple, even as She continued to toy with the bud of my clit, that i began to feel sincerely thankful and content.

"Pleasure and pain, My little one," She breathed, Her voice trickling over me like honey. "So different, yet so alike. You will learn to love both, to beg for both. Pain is not punishment, there are other punishments. Do you understand?"

Even in my heightened state of arousal i had the presence of mind to answer, but my answer could only be a shake of the head. i did not enjoy pain…pain was a punishment. What else could be worse?"

She sighed, a small exhalation of breath. "i will ask again, one day."

Yet i knew, i just knew that She was not disappointed. She had expected this answer. Even as the birds sang, the cool breeze murmured, and the trees sighed, even as Their combined attentions brought forth the flowering of orgasm, and i bucked and twisted and cried out with joy, i knew this was only the beginning of my education.

Chapter Two - Summer

i knelt in my accustomed place at the end of the huge four-poster bed, my legs spread so that my knees pressed into the cold terracotta floor a foot apart, baring my sex for Their pleasure. My heels were tucked beneath my bottom, providing a resting place, and an essential aid to my balance. My wrists were crossed, right over left, at the small of my back. My spine was straight, and my head was tilted so that i could stare straight ahead, although this would be unthinkable to me. My eyes were cast down as was proper, staring at an imaginary spot exactly halfway between my knees.

i was proud to be here, awake, bright-eyed and alert, ready to greet my Owners as They awake on this glorious July day. i had already polished the supple leather cuffs that wrapped my wrists and ankles in Their comforting embrace, and had positioned my shining steel collar so that the ring was front and centre. They noticed these little details and it was important to me that i maintained them. i had only minutes before They awoke, and so i opened my mouth wide, contentedly inserting the lustrous white sphere of the rubber ballgag between my freshly-brushed teeth, and drawing the strap tight through the roller buckle before snapping the padlock shut with a satisfying click. They disliked talking before breakfast, and though i was well able to hold my tongue by now, i liked to wear the gag as a palpable sign of my devotion. That, and i loved to suckle on that smooth sphere, running my tongue under it, and savouring its perfect shape, even as i admired the way it forced my glossy lips into a beautiful oval around it.

i knew Mistress liked that too, as it was a rare occasion when She could resist kissing my gagged mouth in greeting, running Her tongue over my lips and the surface of the gag, as i closed my eyes and savoured Her warmth, Her closeness. i would remain silenced in this fashion until i served breakfast, when it would be my delight to be ungagged by Master and hand-fed choice titbits from His bowl as i knelt at His feet.

There was a muted groan as Mistress opened Her eyes. Instantly every muscle in my body quivered and tightened as i endeavoured to present myself adequately for Her.

"Good morning My little one," i heard Her smiling tones, and instantly bowed my head in response, my heart-rate jumping as Her warm soft voice cuddled and caressed me.

Then there followed an explosive grunt from Master as She playfully elbowed him in the ribs. He tended to enjoy His sleep too much for Her liking.

She giggled, a rich throaty sound, and my world turned golden with love.

***

The sparkling water cascaded from the polished chrome showerhead like summer rain. As usual, i had removed my leather cuffs for fear of spoiling them. i was feeling naked without them, an irony, considering the unclothed state of my body.

Master was in a playful mood today. His eyes shone with mischief as He enfolded my slim wrist in His hand and snapped a gleaming steel cuff around it. If not for the gag i would have smiled too, but my delight was not subdued, and bubbled up from within as the other cuff snaked around my left wrist. i chuckled in the back of my throat, and bowed my head in gratitude. He pulled me into the shower stall, where i knelt before him and lathered expensive liquid soap in my cuffed hands, joyously inhaling the rich scent which burst from the bubbles.

And then His hands encircled my wrists again, guiding my bound hands towards His crotch. His penis, heavy and magnificently erect, awaited, and i did not disappoint. i lovingly cupped my hands around it, my palms brushing the tip and my fingers sliding gently over the base, ladling on the foam, warmed by my hands, and softly stroking it into the skin. My hands and fingers glided over and around His shaft, as it hardened and quivered at my ministrations.

i could hear His sharp, heavy breaths even over the cascade from the shower, as it washed over us both. A perfect moment, Master and slave.

The curtain suddenly skimmed back and She stepped lightly in. Instantly, and with some regret, i allowed my hands to fall between my legs, and i bowed my head once more. i was the slave, i had privileges, but i still had my place.

Mistress slipped between Master and i, and they embraced, wreathed in the clouds of steam, like God and Goddess upon high Olympus as i, a lowly mortal, knelt awaiting Their indulgence.

Then, a touch on my head, and i stood, dispensing more soap. The chain clinked as my fingers caressed and swirled around Her plump pale breast, and She let out a moan as the very tips of my fingers toyed with Her succulent brown nipple, alternatively kneading and brushing, the perfume from the soap filling the air with its sweetness.

He was washing Her back, even as i moved to Her other breast; He parted Her bottom cheeks as i moved down to Her pussy. She groaned, no doubt luxuriating as His long strong fingers circled around and between Her cheeks, even as i soaped Her smoothly waxed mound, and let my fingers briefly dip between the perfect, swelling labia. Her sweet musk rose to greet me, mixing and combining with the soap to form a heavenly fragrance, the memory of which will be with me always.

There were days when i would be permitted to stay, soaping and cleansing both of Them, perhaps to be rewarded with Their attentions in return, but today i knew…just knew that this was Their time. After all, it was Their holiday, and this meant the occasional relaxation of my routine as well. A touch to my arm, and i was dismissed. i smiled inwardly, not neglected, but with the knowledge passed on by that touch, that i had performed my service, and now must leave Them together.

i quietly stepped from beneath that pleasant cascade, quickly dried my feet on the bathmat, and exited the room, even as the sounds of Their lovemaking filled the humid air.

***

The sun was hot and nourishing on my wet skin, as i knelt on the veranda. Our apartment faced the beach, a blanket of golden sand, spreading down to the rippling waves. Their musical hiss and bubble as they broke over the beach, and then retreated back, was a symphony to my ears.

i silently gave thanks to Them for this extra luxury of a peaceful time in the sun and in the air, fresh and laden with the tang of salt. My dismissal excused me from the drying routine, and i knew my next duty would not occur until breakfast.

***

They laughed and giggled together, happy in Their private joke, as i bowed deeply and glided about the small kitchen, the tiles cool on my bare feet. The table was set and the gorgeous smell of browning toast hung in the air. i was there to catch it as it popped from the toaster and was quick to arrange it in the toast rack before my fingers were burned. i did a little pirouette, and skipped over to the table, bowing my head as i placed the rack in the very centre, atop a ceramic mat. i bustled around the table, pouring Their orange juice as they chatted amiably about the day ahead.

i was on cloud nine - even as the bright clean sunlight lit the room, my life was illuminated also. It was a perfect trinity – Master, Mistress and slave.

And then it was my turn. i descended gracefully to the floor, and into position. His fingers touched beneath my chin, tilting my head up, as His other hand worked the buckle of the gag strap. As it fell away, He gently tugged the rubber ball from my mouth. There was a momentary feeling of loss, but it was seconds before a piece of warm toast, buttered and dripping with honey was placed between my lips. i smiled and closed my eyes, letting the honey and butter melt on my tongue, and relishing the mixed sensations of rough toast and soft liquid honey. Astonishing i know, but in my old life, i had never learned to truly savour the moment when the food hit my taste buds. i was too busy with life and work and all the grey tedium of daily existence, without taking time to enjoy these small but remarkable experiences, even tasting food as if tasting it for the first time. They had given me this gift, had shown me to live in the moment, to revel in the sensations of the here and now. It was perhaps the finest part of my servitude.

***

Breakfast was nearing its end when i felt the soft warmth of my Mistress' hand on my bare back. A shiver of pleasure ran down my spine, and goose pimples started up, as if my very skin was eager to rise to meet Her touch.

"We have business, My darling," She whispered. "You have served well this morning, and it is time for your reward."

My heart rose into my mouth, a mixture of anticipation and anxiety bubbled alchemically through my body. A reward…but of what nature? i quickly suppressed this stray thought – it was not for me to question.

Her hand closed around my upper arm and i was pulled to my feet. i was almost of equal height with Her and quickly lowered my eyes. In doing so they fixed upon the gift in Her other hand – my leash. This was to be better than i had hoped. The leash meant we were going out, to perhaps bask in the sun, to splash in the sea, or feel the cool tangy breeze refresh our bodies and minds as we walked together on the beach. The possibilities seemed limitless. Another irony - that the apparent loss of liberty inherent in my submission brought forth so many opportunities that the so-called "independent" never experienced.

The metallic click as the leash was snapped onto the ring in my collar was significant in the warm silence of the kitchen. i allowed myself a small smile, a subtle and appropriate sign of my happiness, yet inside i was quivering with excitement. My anticipation grew as I felt the warm snug leather of my cuffs, embracing first the left and then the right wrist. My breath caught in my throat as my arms were gently guided behind me, my wrists brought together in the small of my back, and then, with a delicate click, there they rested, safe and secure…and i surrendered myself to Her care.

Master chuckled, from somewhere behind me. "I believe I shall go for a swim, and leave you girls to your own…devices."

My momentary regret that He would not be joining us was tinged with the joyous expectation of special time with my Mistress.

As He made His exit, i felt a gentle but firm tug on my leash and, my heart bouncing and my soul singing, i was guided from the kitchen, linked to the One i adored, out into the brilliant bright world.

3 – Autumn

The air was cool, smelling of damp earth and rotting leaves, as the trees shed their summer finery and started to prepare for the winter to come. i never understood that…surely one should wrap up warm for the winter, not discard one's outer garb?

i blushed, though there was no one near to witness it. Hadn't i done that very thing? Was i not kneeling here in the grass, shivering and naked, shed leaves slimy beneath my legs, broken twigs jutting into my knees, the damp autumn creeping into my very bones? Was i not similar to a tree, following a cycle without end, the seasons of my life ordered and controlled. i had once felt comfort in that, comfort in knowing my place and my part in things, but now i felt i needed to be more like the tree, to wait in patience and observe, to accept the vagaries of life that were cast at me.

i did not feel so very stoic right now. The fierce heat of summer passion had been tempered by the cool autumn mists, and Master and Mistress had been busy with Their lives and Their work again. And then there had been the waspish words…and the long silences, the lack of attention. i was thankful for Their gifts but…

i winced as a wave of nausea washed through me. When was it that i had become so attuned to my slavery that any form of unworthy thought produced this physical reaction? Or was it just hunger? i had been out here for so very long, since the moon began to set behind the trees, its ghostly light rippling between the branches. i had watched silently as the rosy fingers of dawn probed the receding dusk, shivered as the early mist crept lasciviously over my prickling skin, fondling me with its clammy touch. And now…it was mid-morning, or maybe even early afternoon. The mist obscured what sun there may have been, and still i waited in that damp silent world.

An unbidden, unwanted, and long unused word rose into the forefront of my mind…why? i found myself mentally sampling the taste of the word and finding it rank and sour, like the crab-apples lurking in the long grass around me. It was a question i had not needed to ask in an age, and it was no less uncomfortable for that. But…why? Why had He led me out here, told me to wait until i was collected again?

i wondered if it had any connection to the raised voices, the harsh words that filtered down the stairs and through the bars of my cage this last evening? i had felt the atmosphere all evening…as i knelt at the table between Them, i could sense Them both avoiding each other's eyes. Dinnertime, once a time of joy, with happy and lively conversation to savour, even as i savoured every sliver of meat or piece of vegetable that They were kind enough to allow me, was once again a laboured, drawn-out ordeal. The only sound was the harsh crackling of fire in the grate, but its heat failed to extend beyond its own confines, and certainly did nothing to warm the atmosphere in that room. The bright colours of our summer together had faded and begun to dissolve into the grey of late autumn. There had been too many nights like this. As the year waned, so too did Their feelings. There was resentment and recrimination, hanging heavy in the air like a thick fog, stifling the joy. But i did not know why, or what had changed.

i knelt in misery that evening, even more so due to the dish that lay on the floor in front of me. So distracted were They by Their own brooding thoughts that i was superfluous, my food set down almost as an afterthought, instead of lovingly fed to me by the hands of my Owners. And so i knelt, as it grew cold in front of me, having not had permission to eat. They had not even taken the trouble to fasten my hands, and i fought to keep my wrists crossed behind me, my muscles tense and aching, though i doubt that Either would have noticed had my arms dropped limp to my sides. This merely increased my misery, and i strained to maintain my position, to be a good girl, in the hope that He or She might look down, notice me and smile, and bring some warmth back into this cold evening.

i was still forlornly hoping, long after dinner was over, and They left without a word. i finally rose on legs prickling with pins and needles, knowing that i must do what i must do, with or without permission. i looked sadly upon the table, my eyes starting to prick with tears as i surveyed the ruins of the meal and the ruins of the evening. They had hardly touched a thing. Gravy congealed in a brown sea around lost islands of potatoes and forgotten continents of sliced beef on Their plates. Broccoli and spinach slumped cold and lifeless in the serving bowl, undisturbed. All that had been touched was the wine. Both the carafes were drained, and the glasses empty. All around the shadows lengthened as the sun began to set, the last rays briefly touching the table setting then seeming to shrink away, not wishing to be tainted by the decay there.

i bent to pick up my own cold food, however i no longer had any appetite, and so placed it with the other evidence of my failure. Well who else's could it be? Perhaps the food was not well prepared, although i had thought it so. Maybe it was i who had let them down…

***

For the remainder of the evening i had set about my tasks, removing and disposing of the food, washing and drying the dishes, cutlery, glassware and cooking utensils, but it seemed like a Labour of Hercules rather than the usual joyous and satisfying service, performed from love.

He had disappeared…to His study, so i thought. i had heard the clink of a glass as i had slipped past on the way back from the kitchen, and the sharp crystalline retort pierced my chest. Master did not normally drink so. So much wine, followed by hard spirits from his drinks cabinet?

My legs were heavy like dead branches, as i made my way to Mistress in the lounge. It was almost a relief to drop into my position, to clasp my hands behind me again, and await her pleasure.

But there was no pleasure. She ignored my presence and, from occasional stolen glances, i could see that She was reading her book, or at least staring unseeingly at it and infrequently turning a page.

The large grandmother clock in the hall sliced the long evening down into countless little tediums, its deep tick cutting through the silence in that room. It was warmly lit by fringed lamps and the glow from the hearth, dancing over the browns and deep oranges woven into the rugs, and the dark cream of the sofa upon which She reclined, and was usually my favourite room in the house, a friendly and inviting place. But tonight the atmosphere rendered it dark and inhospitable; the colours lost their definition and became sludgy. Or were those the colours of my soul?

i was ashamed of the relief i felt when She finally rose and shut the book with a snap. i felt Her gaze rest upon me briefly and a spark of hope ignited in my heart, only to be snuffed out at Her words. "you are dismissed. Prepare for the night. Cellar cage."

And then Her soft footsteps receded over the thick rugs and the door clicked shut in Her wake.

i let the tears flow then. It was me…whatever was wrong was my fault.

***

Even later that night, as i lay curled in my cage, into which i had placed myself, the door unlocked, as They commanded the padlock, this feeling returned. i whimpered into the small rubber ball that i had strapped in my mouth, more for comfort than anything else, and shifted under my thin blanket, taking care not to let it slip off. i had clipped my own cuffs together behind me again for the feeling of security that i so craved tonight, and it had been difficult to arrange my covering thus restrained, so i did not want to lose it.

It was then in the stale chilly darkness of the cellar that i heard them. i could not make out more than mere scraps of sentences, but i heard my name…my real name, my old name, one i had almost forgotten, and strained to hear more. His voice was deep and harsh with fury, Hers shrill.

His: "…summer…trying to crowd me out…you and her…"

Hers: "…stupid…off and play golf…get drunk…could have joined…"

His: "…lapping it up like a little slut…your little toy…"

Hers: "…two's company…" and a final sentence, crystal clear and twice as cutting. "If you are bored, go and get your own!"

And then the reverberating crash of a slammed door, and quick, angry footsteps fading down the hall.

***

He had said hardly a word, as He'd woken me from my restless slumber and bound my wrists and elbows behind me with rough twine that made me flinch as it scratched at my flesh. A ring gag replaced the ball; the cold rubber coated ring prising open my jaws until they ached. i whimpered, hating this, but having no choice but to accept my…punishment. For what else could it be?

He had clipped on my leash, and led me out in the cold darkness, my bare feet sinking into the rank grass as i was tugged to the end of the garden, the darkest, dankest spot where the weeds grew and the water dripped from the leaky guttering of the old woodshed.

He bade me kneel in the debris of fallen leaves, and discarded twigs, and quickly bound my ankles, pulling my legs tightly together with more of the detestable twine. i bit down upon the ring gag, but it gave me no purchase, no comfort.

Finally, He stood back, regarding me. i dared to look up and saw with shock that He was unshaven and dishevelled, as if He had slept in his clothes. His expression was almost hostile, and my heart shrivelled to see it.

He spoke, His voice rough. "There you will stay today until you are collected again. Use the time and think." And with that he spun on his heel and marched away into the twilight.

And i had obeyed, as i always obeyed. i thought and thought as the chill seeped in, as my body seemed to join with the earth, as i imagined moss growing on me, just like that tree. All around was the sight and smell of decay, which mirrored my emotions only too well.

Their words echoed in my mind again, tarnished with the patina of…jealousy.

"Crowding me out!"

"Your little toy!"

"go and get your own!"

And i wept anew, knowing that i, who wanted so much to serve, so much to be one with Them, had started to drive Them apart. A gust of wind blew through the neglected garden and a leaf spiralled down in front of me and then another…and another…

Chapter Four - Winter

The little robin looks so funny as He hops across the sparkling clean sheet of new fallen snow, leaving tiny tiny marks behind Him. Of course, it isn't funny, the poor little thing is starving to death. Winter can be so beautiful, and yet so cruel. Even the poor trees, naked and smothered in a glittering web of frost and snow, are suffering in silence, choked by beauty, waiting for spring, aching for the sweet smell of the flowers and the warm breezes. They must feel so trapped…

i am glad to be inside, warm and comfortable and looked after. i have all the attention i need now. My new Master is so thoughtful, even when He straps me to the bed at night with thick leather straps. He says its for my own protection, that i was upset and lost and wanted to harm myself when He first brought me here. i really don't remember. That part of the year is as barren in my mind as the endless snowfield outside my window. Oh yes, the bars. They are for my protection too. Aren't i lucky to have such a fine and caring Master, who looks out for me?

i like my room too. It is pretty and bright. There isn't much in it, but a good slave must accept that she owns nothing, not even herself. The room is white too, just like the snow outside. Sometimes i imagine i am lost in an endless expanse of snow, my feet crunching through it as i journey ever on, though the horizon never changes - but then why should it? This is my life, my world, my everything. Why should i seek new horizons when everything i need is here?

i have a lovely bed, with sturdy springs and an iron rail. The straps fit very well around it. It is in such a good position to see out of the window; even when i am tied down, i can see the world go by, watch the snow clouds gather, delight in the magical dance of the flakes as they whirl and reel their way to rest. i don't know where this place is, but all i ever see is fields. Master says it is good for me, that i need it. He comes to see me often and talks for hours. He has kind brown eyes and lovely shining chestnut hair. He makes me feel that i have served well, and He tells me about His life too, about His unhappy marriage and how, even just sitting and talking to me, He feels better. That makes me smile. i am glad i have been able to serve Him as He deserves. He doesn't even mind that i can't answer, with the enormous ballgag He straps in my mouth each time, but then, i would never interrupt Him anyway.

i do miss my other Master and Mistress, but i know now that i had to leave Them, that i was making Them unhappy. i tore Them apart, when i truly believed that it was i who was the centre of everything, the bedrock upon which They rested. A conceit, a terrible conceit for which i have been duly punished. How could i have been so self-important, a mere slave, a plaything? This will teach me never to get above myself again. It will teach me to accept my position and be happy to serve. And i am. Yes, i'm happy – i've learned my lesson. i'm happy…really…

i don't know how long ago i was brought here. i know it was autumn and now it is winter, but i can't really keep track of days. Master says i was very unhappy for weeks and weeks, and i had to be strapped down a lot. Even when They let me up They put me in a straitjacket. Why can't i remember that? i love straitjackets, they are warm and friendly like a big happy hug. i would have loved to remember being in the straitjacket.

***

Master has other girls, i know that. He talked about some of them. i think there is one from the Middle East. There was some trouble in her country and she came here for help. Master is lovely; He helps so many girls to get better. Even last night when He strapped me in tight, i remember looking up at Him, watching the deep red glow of His hair as the light from the bulb haloed around it, His green eyes twinkling down at me. i barely noticed when He made me open my mouth for the ring gag, but oh, His beautiful long shaft! It tasted so good, and felt so warm and hard in my mouth. i was very contented, and He was pleased with me too, i could tell. At least i think it was last night…it might have been last week. i lose track of time…

Yes, red hair. i did say brown hair didn't i? That was another Master though - i have many Masters now. The one with the red hair said i must treat all that come to me as my Master. He said how fortunate i was to be permitted to serve so many. He's right – He's always right of course. It's strange, but i don't have any Mistresses. i do miss that, but Master knows what's best. He told me so.

Of course, i'm sad that i don't get to cook or clean or mend things any more, but i should count myself lucky. How many slaves get to lie around, receiving so much pleasure at all hours of the day, so much love and attention. Yes, i am so lucky. Sometimes i even get the gift of clothing. i have had some lovely corsets and delicate silk panties and stockings, one time even a nurse's outfit, which i couldn't help giggling about. Master was happy about that, and that made my pleasure even greater.

Master cares and looks after me and i am hardly ever lonely. Well, i mean all my Masters of course. i'll be on my knees before Him, my hands tightly fastened behind my back, just the way He wants it, with my mouth wrapped around His huge black cock, sucking and licking until He shoots His hot seed down my throat, making sure i swallow it all, then out He goes without a word. Then Master comes in and i am placed face down on the bed, my arms secured to the rail as the paddle swats down on my flaming buttocks again and again. i don't see Him at all. Then, when Master arrives a few minutes later, He just wants to talk. Sometimes i sit there listening, and i feel i would love to run my fingers through that shining mop of chestnut hair if only my hands weren't cuffed behind me. He likes me like that, and i am happy when He is happy.

i would even smile, but my lip is still swollen from when Master hit me yesterday. i brought that upon myself as well. i shouldn't have cried so much when His prick rammed into my ass like that, but oh, it hurt so much! My former Master never did that, and none of the other Masters do either. Even though Master said it was my duty, i couldn't help it, i cried and cried. And He hit me, and yelled at me to shut the fuck up. And when i wouldn't, He crammed those beautiful silk panties into my mouth and tied me to the bed with my straps and fucked me some more. i felt like i was being ripped in two, but all i could do was to serve well, endure it, until He was finished. It's my duty, my life. i have to say though, that i don't like Him. His blue eyes glitter like frost. He is cold, like the season. His mind His heart, must be like glaciers and even His voice drips icicles. i hate those days, but still i obey. i can still see His fist and feel it smash across my face, even now. Of course Master has hurt…punished…me before, when i was wrong, or had disobeyed. This was a new way of doing it. Spanking, whipping and caning can be enjoyable, so i imagine He had to show me that punishment is not supposed to be enjoyed. That's good for me. i know it is. i do…

***

The world is still preserved in ice, as it has been for many days. There is a lake or a pond just beyond the trees. i can see people skating on its frozen surface, but they are so small and far away, like ants really. i wonder what that feels like, to skate around like that, to laugh and wave your arms around. i rarely have my arms free for long enough. i was thinking about telling Master that i was trained well by Master and Mistress and really don't need to be locked in here all the time. i could serve Him so much better if i was allowed to get out of this room and maybe clean up a bit. Of course, i should bite my tongue before the first word was uttered. i don't know why i am thinking like this: if this is how He wants me to serve, how dare i question Him?

***

Master left a little while ago. He was angry. He hit me and swore at me and made me cry. i couldn't seem to get anything right. He had me dressed up in a white blouse and stripy tie, with a pleated skirt and ankle socks and shiny shoes. He wanted me to call Him Daddy, and i'd been naughty and should bend over for my paddling. But i couldn't call Him anything but Master. Surely He knew that, that's what i was taught…but He was furious. i was terrified of Him, as He towered above me, the huge leather covered paddle inches from my face as His big face became redder and His fat body literally wobbled with rage.

He yelled something about money and then He left. i just didn't know what to do! i had failed, and yet…i didn't want to do those things. But it made me think bad things, such as that this was not why i surrendered that old life, surrendered myself. i wanted warmth and love, and the contentment of knowing my place. i have tried to observe all the protocols, behave as a slave has been taught to please Him, to please Them. But They hardly ever notice.

***

i'm confused and lonely. Master doesn't come to talk anymore. Master only comes to fuck, Master takes me in the ass, Master beats me, Master makes me suck His cock. And those are my days, in this barren white place, with my mind an endless waste, cold and dead. But i should be happy…happy to obey. Why else would i be here? i remind myself of that all the time, in the dead of night, the straps cutting into my wrists as i tug at them. And then i dream, and remember…

i remember Mistress…an eternity ago when the world was fresh and full of life. i remember Her warm rich voice.

"Pain is not punishment, there are other punishments. Do you understand?"

i didn't, and She said She would ask again. She never asked again. i never saw Her again, not after Master took me to the bottom of the garden. When i was collected by Him and taken back to the house, She wasn't there. Master was strapping me up tightly to bring me here, and as the blindfold slipped over my eyes, i remember crying for Her…but She didn't come. It was then that i understood what true punishment was - to be alone, neglected, to be unloved, to have no-one who cares about you. That is the worst of all punishments.

So, i should be content, i should – shouldn't i?

***

Thank You for commanding me to tell You about my life, Master, i am honoured that You have made the time to listen to my story, and i am sorry for my unworthy thoughts. i am ready for punishment, Master.

Master?

Please?

No, not like that! Don't punish me like that! Don't leave me alone again, please! i don't want to be alone again…

i'm so cold…so very cold. The world is white, featureless and dead. Will the Spring ever come again? Will it?

END